Three Things I Tell Anyone I Mentor

Mentoring relationships—and the advice that comes with them—are as varied as the people and personalities involved. Context always matters, particularly for the mentee. For the mentor, it’s typically less of a factor. We draw from our own experiences, successes, and failures. We’ve received (and probably dismissed) advice from others and witnessed the lessons to be learned from those around us. These all shape our perspectives and biases that typically express themselves in a mentoring relationship. Here’s my short list of three things I share with anyone I mentor:

Be world-class where you are.

Credit where credit is due: I actually borrow this concept from Susan Chambers, former executive vice president and CHRO for Wal-Mart Stores, Inc. I’ve often found myself in conversations with someone who is thinking about how they can get ahead, particularly in the context of a career ladder and job progression. Regardless of whether the individual is ahead of, behind, or on whatever pace they’ve set for themselves, I find this piece of advice to be true for at least two reasons.

First, it frees whatever anxiety or expectation the thought of getting ahead produces. By shifting one’s focus to the present, results and peace-of-mind are simultaneously possible.

Second, being world-class where you are is a prerequisite to any further opportunity from a simple matter of practicality. How can one ever expect to be given more if he or she doesn’t consistently perform at a high level in the current role? Too often, people become impatient for what’s coming next and they forget to master what matters today.

Leadership is hard.

Are you sure you want it? More and more, I notice people who aspire to positions of leadership are focused on perceptions of positional authority and job perks. It would be inauthentic and inaccurate to deny that often those things do indeed come with leadership opportunities. But, it would be equally inauthentic and inaccurate to deny leadership brings burdens of knowledge, sacrifice of time, and stressors of decision-making other jobs are insulated from.

My dad has reminded each of his children, “It doesn’t get any better,” and he’s right. The stakes get higher and complexity grows with each successive increase in job scope. Would-be-leaders should consider the costs. This is not to say the rewards of leadership are not “worth it.” It’s just that great opportunity brings great responsibility. Mentees should expect whatever challenge they are currently facing will be replaced by something greater down the road—and they need to be okay with that.

Maintain your appetite.

This third point is the only thing that can prepare you for the realities of point two. John Wooden said, “It’s what you learn after you know it all that counts.” When I find someone who feels like they’ve pretty well figured things out, it’s a red flag. The best leaders I know have not stopped learning. I know this: the me I am today is not going to be good enough tomorrow. By maintaining your appetite for growth, you can put yourself in better position to be equipped for the challenges that lie ahead.

In the end, the purpose of any mentoring relationship should be focused on growth for current and future challenges. It’s incumbent on the mentor to share realities of what growth should look and feel like—and for the mentee to lean into the sometimes hard truth that comes with it.