“What would I need to do in order to be able to…”

Today, my younger son has his first track meet. He’s running two events - both relays, which he’s excited about. He’d also hoped to be able to try a couple of field events but wasn’t selected by his coaches. He’s not super disappointed but still, he’d like the chance to learn those events and compete this season.

My fatherly advice on the car ride to school was, “Tomorrow at practice, ask your coach, ‘I’d like to try (long jump, pole vault). What would I need to do at practice this week to learn those events and ultimately compete in them at a meet?’”

I have a close friend who’s been a college basketball coach for more than 25 years. His players come to him and most were the best player, or one of the best, on their high school team and have spent their childhood in AAU tournament gyms. Yet in college, they still only allow five players on the court at a time, sharing one basketball. Often, a player is disappointed in their playing time (or lack thereof), their assigned role, or having to wait behind a more talented or more experienced player. Based on our conversations over the years, several have trouble with this conversation in their one-on-one player/coach meetings: “Here’s what you need to work on at practice or the offseason, in order to get better and to help our team.” Most coaches would welcome the question from a player, “What do I need to work on?” rather than settling, pouting or outright complaining about their status on the team.

In my work as an executive coach to career professionals, it strikes me that this is very much the same conversation that should be taking place. Most bosses I know would readily receive the question from an emerging leader who is looking to gain experience, learn new skills, and contribute in new ways in their career aspirations. This question of “what do I need to do in order to be able to…” can serve as the foundation of an Individual Development Plan (IDP) that identifies the target skill/experience, the value to the organization of acquiring it, and the specific steps, timing and owners in order to get there. Those can include a range of training, assessments, challenging assignments, and coaching/mentoring targeted at that desired outcome.

There’s no shortage of people who want to get more opportunity. Some of us are content to let opportunities come to us. Others sit discontent but without the initiative to seek opportunities. For others, it may just be about the willingness to ask the question. Which camp are you in?