When two things can’t be true at once

A theme I repeatedly encounter in my practice, whether coaching executives or aligning teams, is that it’s possible for more than one thing to be true at the same time. It’s about the importance of seeking out the perspective of others or digging for the deeper truth that may not be readily available. It causes us to remind ourselves that oftentimes, we are part of a larger system, and as real as our immediate circumstances may be, there are other things at play.

It’s what author Liz Wiseman refers to as “having access” to the others’ knowledge, information, or perspective. As leaders, when we can solicit multiple truths, we can get a clearer picture of reality, make better decisions collectively, and lead more effectively.

But there are times when two things can’t be true at once. We call it contradiction or inconsistency. It’s where we get the leadership concept of integrity. If you’re a math nerd like me, you know that integers are whole numbers, not parts and pieces or combinations.

I was driving the other day and came to a stop when I noticed the car in front of me had a license plate with an image Dr. Martin Luther King. I thought that was pretty cool. Sitting at the stop, I then realized they also had a bumper sticker with a skeleton fist, flipping me the bird. I wasn’t offended so much as thinking, “I’m not sure Dr. King would have that on his car.” In fact, I’m pretty sure he wouldn’t. Nothing about that is consistent with his impassioned calls for peace, understanding and respect for all men and women.

I come away thinking it’s a simple reminder that as leaders, we can’t allow for inconsistencies. Even if we can’t see it, our people do, and we lose credibility and trust. And I’m reminded that while it’s essential to remain open to others’ perspectives, we have to be able to discern when two things can’t be true at once.