Ooh Ahh (My Life Be Like)
One of the fun outcomes of quarantine (yes, there have been a few) is that we started a family Spotify account and a family playlist. The rules: in order to be added, a song has to have at least 3 out of 4 thumbs up. This introduces me to a lot of songs that I’m pretty sure I wouldn’t hear otherwise. One of those is titled, “Ooh Aah (My Life Be Like)” by the hip hop group Grits (featuring TobyMac on this track).
It’s a great song and reminded me of one of the things that’s been top of mind in my nearly four years chairing Vistage groups, the quote fellow Chair Rick Schleufer shared: “Outside a Vistage room is a polite, shallow, dishonest world.” Of this I’m convinced!
Think about it - how many times are we asked, “How are you doing?” and the answer is “Good…” or even “Great…” and then, as if we’re shouting in a canyon, we echo, “How are you doing?” (imagine the echo: “Good… Great…”). That exchange that we have regularly in restaurants, the neighborhood, at church, and in our country clubs is polite, shallow, and often dishonest. We might as well jump into a chorus of “My life be like ooooohhh aaaaaahhh…”. It’s what we do, just not as cool.
Not so in the Vistage room. One of our rhythms each time we meet is Member Check In where we rate ourselves on a scale from 1 to 10 in the categories of Personal, Professional, and Health - with an explanation of what’s driving that score. Now, even in a Vistage room, there can be a tendency for some to be somewhere in the safe 7 to 8 range. Not too high, not too low. Yet, courage does show up: In the person that’s willing to say, “I’m at a 2 today” or the courage to challenge that safe 7 and say, “C’mon - what’s really going on?”, unwilling to let their peer slide by with the easy answer, hoping no one will ask them that question.
Care and Challenge are two of Vistage’s values. Trust and Growth are the other two. These allow us to admit, “I really don’t have it together right now”, guard down, mask off (no, not that mask). Seriously, this is one of the ingredients that makes the Vistage model powerful. Not everyone has an issue or opportunity to bring to the group to think through, but everyone is showing up that day. Check in says, “here’s how I’m showing up” and it allows us to live out our values in real and tangible ways - ways that we either can’t or don’t in other circles.
Maybe you have a go-to group of trusted peers where you can speak and hear truth. If so, you’re on one end of the bell curve. If not, imagine what that might feel like. What keeps you from seeking that out?