You don’t have to apologize for never having been shown
Recently, I had the chance to take my 16yr old son and a couple of his buddies to the movies. It was a rainy Sunday afternoon and a perfect day for a matinee. The drive to/from included much of your typical teenage boy banter, including whatever was happening with the latest app and in their social media circles, as limited as they may be.
At one point, it became apparent that one of the guys didn’t know how to do something on his phone. (Imagine that!) Once the other two set him straight, the “I can’t believe you didn’t know that!” ridicule began. It wasn’t too over-the-top but you know how guys can be. The offender in this case, is probably the nicest, most considerate kid on the planet. After enduring the first wave of barbs, he finally said, “I’m sorry guys. I just didn’t know. I’m sorry.” This back and forth of jabs followed by apologies continued for a few more cycles until I interrupted…
“(name), you don’t have to apologize for never having been shown.”
I think it’s like that in a lot of walks of life… First time parents? How to operate someone else’s microwave? I know nothing about how to work on my car but I’m pretty sure I’m smart enough to do it if I had the right instruction. That doesn’t make me less. I just haven’t been shown. Ignorance, in this case, isn’t an offense.
Leaders, think about the people in your charge. What do they need from you? Maybe it’s time, patience, and some one-one-one “let me show you”. Perhaps it’s your sponsorship for that course, certification or degree they’d like to complete. Maybe, it’s the assignment of that all-star mentor that would develop both people.
At times, we forget that as much “school of hard knocks” learnin’ we may have done, often it was someone coming alongside us to show us what we need to know or opening some doors for us that were otherwise closed. If you’re in a position of leadership, it’s time to pay it forward – and make sure your people know they don’t owe you an apology!